Years ago, I struggled with crippling social anxiety.

It was so bad I could barely stand to stay in a crowded nightclub.

I was the guy sitting on the wall, alone, on “death row”, with not even a drink in my hand to keep me company.

One summer, I decided I was going to smash social anxiety, once and for all.

I discovered a surefire technique. I applied it for two years.

At the end of that time, my social anxiety was thoroughly smashed. I made tons of friends & gotten into some seriously beautiful long-term relationships.

But what took me 2 years, I’d like you to experience in 30 days. 

The method below covers that 30 day period to smash social anxiety, at the end of which you will:

• Be able to walk around your town like you own it.
• Have gotten into at least a dozen interactions with strangers.
• Have gotten at least a few coffee dates. (Possible more)

Let’s start.

Is This Really Worth It?

Yes, it really is.

There’s not much difference between asking a girl for her phone number and asking an investor to hear your pitch for your startup.

So the skills you will learn here are widely applicable.

They’ll improve your work life, your love life, your sex life, and your social life.

So just do it, ok?

30 Days to Conquering Social Anxiety

Day 1: Go out and focus on walking around with better posture: shoulders back and down, chest up and forward, stand as tall as you can, hips level (activate your glutes so your hip flexors shorten and your tummy tucks in) slow, rolling gait.

Day 2: Maintain better posture, but now add strong eye contact with everyone you pass. Strong eye contact means that you will look directly into the pupil (the dark center of the eye). The color of their eyes should be in your peripheral vision.

Day 3: Practice good posture and eye contact while walking.

Day 4: Practice good posture and eye contact while walking. As you do this, be observant. See if you can note details of people as they pass: clothing, unique mannerisms they have, accents, or anything that makes them stand out.

Day 5: Today, begin treating everyone you interact with like your friend: ask them how their day is going (or whatever question is appropriate to push beyond the social niceties that are the norm in your area.)  Continue to observe folks as they respond to you: notice how they use speech, whether they seem happy or sad, and any details on their clothing or in their mannerisms that catch your attention.

Day 6: Continue to practice posture, eye contact, and pushing one step beyond social scripts, while continuing to notice what makes people around you unique.

Day 7: Continue to practice posture, eye contact, and pushing one step beyond social scripts, while continuing to notice what makes people around you unique.

Day 8: Continue all the above, plus add the following: ask a member of your gender of desire for the time, for directions, or for recommendations of nearby restaurants/bars/sights. (NOTE: I say “gender of desire” to indicate the gender that you usually find most attractive. This is distinct from asking a target of desire, i.e. a very pretty girl or guy you find yourself specifically attracted to. Asking just any old member of the desired gender makes this step less scary, so start there. Conversely, if you want to push yourself, go straight to asking a target of desire.)

Day 8: Continue posture, eye contact, pushing one step beyond social scripts, and asking for something. Remain alert to the details of people’s appearance and mannerisms.

Day 9: Continue posture, eye contact, pushing one step beyond social scripts, and asking for something. Remain alert to the details of people’s appearance and mannerisms.

Day 10: Continue everything practiced until now, and asking for something. Today, exclude asking for the time — only ask for recommendations or directions. You are still approaching and asking any member of the target gender.

Day 11: Continue everything practiced until now, including asking for a recommendation. Remain alert to details.

Day 12: Continue everything practiced until now, including asking for a recommendation. Remain alert to details.

Day 13: Continue everything practiced until now, but now approach a target of desire for the recommendation. (NOTE: A ‘target of desire’ means someone you find attractive. Be careful that you don’t avoid this practice by suddenly refusing to find anyone attractive. Pro-tip: if you are a man, I would recommend abstaining from all intimate contact with your target gender during this time, as well as any, ahem, self-directed extra-curricular activity — it will make you bolder.)

Day 14: Continue everything practiced until now, including asking for a recommendation from an attractive stranger. Remain alert to details during all interactions.

Day 15: Continue everything practiced until now, including asking for a recommendation from an attractive stranger. Remain alert to details during all interactions.

Day 16: Continue everything practiced until now, including asking for a recommendation from an attractive stranger. Today, add a “bridging” question after you receive a recommendation — something that conveys your interest and invites further conversation. Examples: “You know, you look sort of familiar. Do you live around here?” Or “Are you in the neighborhood? How long have you lived here? What do you like about it?” If they answer your questions and ask questions about you, continue in conversation until they excuse themselves. If they answer your questions but don’t ask follow-up questions, thank them and leave politely after 1-2 more questions.

Day 17: Continue as before, but today experiment with different “bridging” questions. The attention to detail you have built for the past 17 days will serve you well now: there should be myriad details you’ve noticed that you can call upon in conversation. Refer to these details in the “bridging” questions: you are shifting the topic of conversation from a recommendation, a favor they are doing you, to something unique about their clothing, personality, mannerisms, speech, or other. The stronger your skills of observation, the more fascinating your conversation partner will find you. The best conversationalists, like the best poets, are keen observers of both themselves inside, and the world outside.

Day 18:  Continue as before, and continue to experiment with different bridging questions. Sign of strong progress: your conversational partners are asking you an equal number of questions, and giving you open, interested body language. Sign of weaker progress: your conversational partners’ answers are short and curt, with no reciprocated questions, and they look away or lean away, or show other signs of body language closure and disconnection. (There could be a number of causes for weak progress. The most common is lack of confidence, and/or conveying awkwardness or discomfort with the interaction. More practice will address both these problems.)

Day 19: Continue as before, experimenting with different bridging questions, and staying observant.

Day 20: Continue as before, and today, attempt to turn a bridging question into a continuation of the conversation in a two-step method: first, ask if your conversation partner is free to continue the conversation over a cup of coffee right then and there. (“You know, I’m really enjoying this conversation, would you be interested in grabbing coffee?“) If they decline, suggest you exchange phone numbers so you can continue the conversation at a more convenient time. (“No problem, let’s exchange numbers and talk later.“) Above all, no matter what response you get, take it in stride and don’t be ruffled by it. Be ready to hear any response ranging from “I would never go out to coffee with someone I just met” to “I’m engaged” to “There’s no room for new people in my life right now.”  Your practice is to take any and all responses in stride and don’t be ruffled by any of them.

Day 21: Continue as before, attempting to bridge the conversation into a longer conversation either right then, or later via phone. Remain undisturbed by any and all responses (even positive ones!)

Day 22: Continue as before, attempting to bridge the conversation into a longer conversation either right then, or later via phone. Remain undisturbed by any and all responses.

Day 23: Continue as before, attempting to bridge the conversation into a longer conversation either right then, or later via phone. Remain undisturbed by any and all responses.

Day 24: You will continue to practice as before. Your overall program should look as follows:

1. Start by asking for a recommendation from an attractive stranger
2. Then bridge the conversation into a larger and more personally relevant topic using your powers of observation
3. Propose a continuation of the conversation by others means, either same-day or later.

Remain open to counter-proposals. Sometimes a girl will demure from giving out her number, but offer her email address instead; take it. Sometimes a girl will demure from giving any contact information, but suggest you meet her at a specific time and place in the future; generally, if you get a good vibe from the person, this is also a reasonable offer, and you should entertain all reasonable offers.

What does an unreasonable counter-offer look like? The most typical one is,”Why don’t you give me your number and I’ll call you.” In 99% of cases, she won’t call. You can address this in a straightforward way: “I’d be afraid that you wouldn’t call me. If you don’t want to continue the conversation, you can tell me. Of course I’ll be disappointed, but I’ll survive.” With a wink, for effect.

Women in particular have been trained to “let us down easy” if they’re not interested — but mostly, this leads to us feeling lead on and betrayed. Much better to ask for honesty up front and feel the tiny sting of rejection, than to go along with her in the creation of a placating fake fantasy of unreal expectation (“I’ll call you, someday”) and build up much more damaging resentment of all women.

I’ve found that you can even say this to women: “Don’t let me down easy. If you’ve got to let me down, let me down hard.” This is confidence — and even if you don’t feel this level of confidence at the start, saying it will build your confidence until it authentically is at this level.

Day 25: Continue as before, remaining open to counter-proposals, and confronting rejection head-on. Note: if a woman seems authentically hesitant at your proposal of a coffee date you can even solicit a counter-proposal from her: “You don’t seem sure about coffee. Maybe you have a counter-proposal?”

Day 26: Continue as before. If your results are not meeting your expectations, the only answer is more practice. Approach two or more attractive strangers today to give yourself a chance to practice and have better results.

Day 27: Continue as before. If your results are still not meeting your expectations, the only answer is more practice, more opportunity. Approach three or more attractive strangers today to give yourself a chance to practice and have better outcomes.

Day 28: Continue as before.

Day 29: Continue as before.

Day 30: Continue as before

If you have followed this program diligently, you should now have at least one, and probably several, new potential friends. Congratulations! That was not easy.

On the other hand, it was only 30 days: 1/12th of a year (8%) and 0.001% of your total life (assuming you live to 72.)

This program, as constituted, has given you 11 full days of practice and opportunities to make a real connection in conversation with an attractive stranger, whether it be an information exchange or longer-duration conversation in person right after meeting them. That’s a decent amount of opportunity.

Better yet, the cumulative effects of the program should have gotten you into the habit of walking around town with strong posture and strong eye contact, a habit which will improve your results in all areas of your life, to say nothing of reducing your social anxiety. You have also consistently practiced being more observant of details, which will have similar good effects.

As a final bonus, you’ll notice that at no point in this program do we require you spend money in nightclubs or bars, or any other venue!

Of course, if you’ve had even one successful coffee date, you’ve spent a couple of dollars, but that’s a worthwhile investment in getting to know an attractive stranger.

How I Beat My Crippling Social Anxiety

(The Two-Year Program)

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering. . .

Did I follow this protocol to beat my own crippling social anxiety?

I did not.

I did something even easier: 

I got a job for a company that ran nighclubs and bars. 

Over the course of two years, I worked every position there was in a variety of different venues.

I was paid to be social & engaging, and being forced to practice these skills absolutely crushed my anxiety, over that same two-year period.

Because not everybody has the time or inclination to get a part-time job working in the entertainment industry, I worked out the above 30-day method, as a cheaper, easier alternative.

What took me 2 years, you’ll be able to do in 1 month . . . if you follow the protocol strictly.

Like that? Then you’ll love this: you’re invited to attend our FREE webinar on Dating Confidence. Click here to get access to the webinar.