I was taught etiquette and manners by example: by watching how my Dad treated my Mom.

I know not every man had good role models in his life from which to learn these standards, so I present the below basics of etiquette for your consideration.

Many of the below are phrased as male-female interactions, but consider: when it ever inappropriate to be polite to someone of the same gender?

1. Hold doors for others. (especially women)
2. Remove your hat when indoors, or when women approach.
3. In any group, allow others to enter the building before you (and hold the door for them). Note that you’ll have to arrive at the door first to accomplish this, so master the art of walking with the group as you approach your destination, but pulling ahead just before you arrive.
4. When approaching a dinner table, women are seated first. Men pull out their chairs, and push them in.
5. Assist your lady in removing her coat, and in putting it back on. Do this before you worry about your own.
6. When entering and exiting cars, women enter first and get out first. Men open car doors, and shut them.
7. When you are seated, and a woman approaches or enters the room, you stand until she is seated, or until she leaves.
8. If a woman drops something, pick it up for her.
9. When walking along a busy street, the man walks on the outside (closest to traffic).
10. On crowded public transportation, offer your seat to anyone who gets on and looks ready to sit down — not just women. Make way for the old, the infirm, children, and especially couples who look like they’d appreciate sitting next to each other.
11. When taking a lady out, it’s your responsibility to make reservations and arrangements ahead of time. Work with the maitre’d or server to seat your lady first, make sure she has the seat of her preference and is comfortable, and then take your seat.
12. Be on time. If you’re unavoidably late, call immediately to let the other party know.
13. When out with a woman, make sure she gets to her car or cab safely after your time together (especially at night).
14. Find something upon which to sincerely compliment.
15. Listen & ask questions. It’s not all about you; have curiosity and focus on learning about others wants, needs & aspirations.
16. Ask for opinions. Everyone has an opinion; everyone likes sharing it.

If the above is old hat for you, consider the following meta-rules of etiquette:

1. Ladies first. It’s a rule for a reason.
2. Limit choices for best results: “Do you want to go to X restaurant, or attend Y play?” You decide, but they get to choose.
3. Pay close attention to what people like & don’t like. Your ability to notice what they need is what sets you apart.
4. Learn the difference between teasing and judging. Outright judgment shuts down relationships before they even start. You can tease a lady about her life choices (i.e. vegetarianism) but never let her feel judged. On the other hand, playful teasing is the spice that makes the dish.

What have we left out?

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Also published on Medium.