There was an actual moment when I decided to lock up my heart, for fear of getting it hurt. I remember it well.

Have you made this decision? It’s a big decision. I made it, and it took me years to get my heart out of the cage. Freeing my heart from the cage was hurtful not only to me, but to everyone who loved my heart through that period. It hurt them as much as it hurt me, because they were in my heart too.

There are real wounds in the male psyche: wounds that come from things that were done to us, and things we’ve done to others, even to our loved ones. Especially to our loved ones.

I’ve done some pale things. Some dark things. If I can be forgiven for what I’ve done, then anybody can be forgiven for the dark things they’ve done.

The healing begins when we look ourselves full in the mirror and forgive ourselves. If we can’t do that, we sure as hell won’t be able to forgive anyone else — and no one else will be able to forgive us.

So please, for your own sake, and for the sake of the people you love and who love you, please do the work to take your heart out of the cage. And be gentle as it goes.

If your heart is still free, don’t lock it up. It’s not worth it.

Our hearts are still partially in the cage. We’re working to get them out, every day. It may take a little more time.

We’ll send you the latest article every Sunday. Click here to get Fierce Gentleman in your inbox.