Following in our series of guest posts on the topic of being a ‘Fierce Father’ or ‘Fierce Husband‘, the below was submitted by reader Blake Johnson, a 3rd-year law student at LSU.
Blake’s story is important because it highlights the importance of being present with our families, and especially “being home.”
I am married with a 17-month-old son who is the Mr. Busy Body. I am also in my final year of law school
Being home with your family; another lesson we can learn from the animal kingdom
prepping for finals, the bar exam and trying to secure full-time employment upon graduation.
The other law school wives sometimes joking ask my wife, “How is it being a single mom?” She usually responds with a polite laugh and then says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Why can she say that? Because when I’m home, I’m home. I know I’m not the busiest guy out there, nor am I the perfect husband and father, but when I got married I fully committed to our relationship and everything that would come with it, not subject to time outs or breaks.
So what do I mean when I say, “when I’m home, I’m home?” It means being more than physically present. If I come home and merely say hi, and then spend the entire night with my face in my books or laptop what was the point of coming home at all before bedtime? Was it to just get a meal prepared for me? It isn’t any better if I spend the whole night glued to the TV. That’s not to say I don’t do either of those on a rare occasion when it is needed or required (studying that is). Being home to me means playing, reading, or teaching my son something until he goes to bed. It means I’m involved in his life and he knows that I’m involved so sometimes that does mean quantity not just quality, and yes that definitely means changing diapers, although that one is mostly for my wife.
Being home for my wife means being able to sit down for dinner together as many nights as possible and even cooking for her when I have the chance. It means taking time to discuss not only the big things, but the little things. It means taking the time to clean so she can rest for once.
All of this is done first when you leave work and school at work and school. If you need to stay late to finish something, do it! Don’t come home and then resume working. When you walk in the door your family expects you to be done with work and give your attention to them so why not meet that expectation?
My father, a CPA, during tax season always had way to much to do, but he always came home on time for dinner and stayed to put us to bed. He then went back to the office until 12 or 1 am. That’s what being home is to a Fierce Gentleman.
So Gentlemen, make sure that when you’re home, you’re home. Your family will thank you and you’ll be happier because you’re spending quality time on the things that matter most.
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Also published on Medium.